Back to Reality

So, I have been very blessed to have lots of help since Declan has been born! My Mom was up for his birth and 4 weeks following that, and then Justin has been off for the past 3 months! With trips to the Coast & all the people helping me I have been very spoiled. I realize most people don't receive the help I have received and I want to hug you all, I have NO idea how I could have done it without the help I received! 

But sadly now my journey through la la land is over! We just came back from Surrey and Justin goes back to work on Monday! To top it all off Declan has started to teethe…yippee!! So I will be on my own! No one to pass him off too when I am so frustrated with him, no one to watch him for me while I have a long, hot shower, no one to entertain him while I make dinner…just me! I will be totally honest with you, I am terrified! I know I can do it, and I know that I will figure it out and come through it strong and proud but I'm scared! I have a stubborn little boy and when he is tired he fights it, and he fights it hard. And sometimes I get really annoyed! Now I will really have to work on my self control, and realize when I need a break and just put him down and walk away for a little. 

He loves to chomp on my fingers

Let me correct myself…he loves to chomp on anything

The truth is that parenting is HARD! The most amazing, rewarding and fun thing…but stinking hard! Especially being a nursing Mom(and honestly just a Mom in general). My baby needs me, he needs the food I provide him and the comfort and support I give him. Sometimes he just needs ME! Which is so cool, but sometimes I just want a break! Like today for example! Declan was having a rough day. We traveled yesterday, his teeth are bugging him, and maybe a bit of a TMI but he had a big poop today! So needless to say he was a Mr. Fussypants! Now I don't like Mr. Fussypants that much, I definitely prefer Mr. Giggles, or Mr. Snuggles, but that just isn't possible all the time. So I cried, and thats okay! Sometimes I just need to cry and release my frustration and then I can go back to loving my little guy! 

I know there will be many more hurdles in raising my son, including more and more teething (sigh), but when he looks up at me while feeding, or laughs and gives me a big smile it makes all of it worth while! 

I feel a lot better just typing this all out, even if it was banter. Who knows…maybe I will start blogging more now that I am on my own and can only call my Mom to vent so many times in one day :)

This makes it all worth it.