First of all I want to start off by saying that this post isn't directed and anyone in particular so please don't take offence to anything I write! I am just pregnant and hormonal and need to vent! :)
Why is it that people think it is necessary to bring you down in pregnancy? I am finding more and more that people when they know you are pregnant feel it necessary to tell you all the dramatic horrifying stories of their pregnancy or birth or someone that they know's pregnancy or birth?! Very very rarely do they come up and tell you the stories about their friend who had a fantastic pregnancy, or a very easy birth...its always the blood and gore stories. Is this supposed to encourage me? Like a congratulations your pregnant...you fool...if you only knew how miserable your life is going to be! :)
Especially since I have started doing some research and am leaning more to a natural birth. Not like a hippie, chanting, burning incense kind of birth but a birth where ideally I don't use pain medication. I realize that nothing can ever prepare me for labour and the pain or discomfort I will experience. But I know that there are people out there that have done it, people out there who have even had moderately pain free labours. I realize that birthing a child is not a walk in the park, but how about some encouragement. Like a good for you, I know so and so who had a medication free birth. Not necessarily always "HA! Good luck with that one". And I am not naive to the prospect of things going wrong, or me not being able to handle the pain, or me needing a cesarean. The point is that I would ideally like to bring my baby into this world in the nicest way possible!
This is just my ramble as I have been feeling a bunch of negativity towards labour and being a parent. Even comments on how I won't be the parent I think I'm going to, or how I need to cherish life now before baby because basically it blows after baby is born. Where are the parents who LOVE parenting and who have been able to be a similar parent to what they expected...do they exist?!
Anyways, I'm sorry if I rubbed anyone the wrong way, but this is my vent! I know all these people who tell me these things love their children and that they are just trying to prepare us foolish pregnant ladies. But I encourage you to say something nice to a pregnant lady next time you see them, tell them a hopeful story, and build up their expectations, not burn them down! :)
I love you all, and I already feel better. *sigh of relief* Now I am going to go make a sandwich and put up my feet :D
I had a natural birth with paisley and I think it was the best decision I made. Don't let what ppl say about pregnancy get u down, its a beautiful thi g and just becausr one person didn't have an easy pregnancy or an easy birth does not mean that you won't, enjoy every moment of it good or bad its an experience of a lifetime:D
ReplyDeletePeople are jerks... don't let them bring you down. It's a birth PLAN, it's what you're supposed to do. Women seem to like to compare their horror stories like they earned a badge of honor or something. I bet you that if you asked any of those women if they would do it again... they would say yes. I LOVE being a Mom... I am not the Mom that I thought that I would be, but you have to adapt to what your kids need {and I have the worlds most stubborn child}. Just remember that it is more rewarding that you can EVER imagine. And all those sleepless nights? You're on such a high from giving birth to a gorgeous little child that you hardly notice that you aren't sleeping as much.
ReplyDeletePS -- when I was pregnant with E, I chose to have a c-section because of a lot of complications with Logan. I have a doula "friend" who continually posted things about how bad c-sections are {like csection babies are stupid and it makes you less of a woman}. You have to ignore all that crap.
Thank you Ladies!!! :) That is precisely what I needed to hear!
ReplyDeleteAnd doom on your doula friend Vanessa!! I really dislike pushy people like that. She's the one who ends up looking stupid! :)
i hear you, cuz! someone warned me that i might lose the baby (someone who knew i had already lost 2) ... did she think i was getting too happy? :S
ReplyDeleteon the other hand, there were legit medical issues that nobody talked about at all, and after vava was born, i was horrified to find out there is something that affects up to 90% of birth mamas that i had NEVER heard about. would i have decided not to get pregnant because of that? definitely not. but i would like to have been prepared.
i just chalk it up to: we're all nuts, and none of us pay attention to what comes out of our mouths.
YOU are going to be a mama and there is nothing in the whole wide world as amazing and heart-stretching as that. i am so so excited for you, and can't wait to see this little one in your arms!
xox
IMO
ReplyDeleteEveryone has a labor story. Every mom loves telling there story because its there story. 'There right of passage' the day they became a mommy. The moment they hand you that baby and you get to hold them for the first time is one of the most magical moments in life. Labor pains and horrors fade away that second into a moment of just pure love and awe.
I had a really bad pregnancy with both so I won't bog you down. Just feel blessed that you are having a great one!
I did have fan-flipping tastic labours. Sounds weird I know. I planned on doing natural-I don't think I could have done drugs if I wanted to. My labours where very fast.
My first under 3 hours and only pushed 1.5 times not really any tearing
My second under 2 hours and only 1 push and no tearing.
No matter what your labor is the moment the baby comes and is in your eyes it all fades away. It's almost like a natural pain killer. It's just such a beautiful moment. Makes me almost wanna do it again just because of that life changing moment.